Caught between two boyfriends

Dear Pastor,

I am a 16-year-old girl and I am living with my parents. I have two boyfriends; one of them was in high school with me.

He was the one who took my virginity in our classroom. He could not help me much because he was just a schooler like me, but I loved him. I started a relationship with a man who drove a taxi. When we had sex for the first time, he said he thought I was a virgin. He treated me well and when I left high school, he wanted me to live with him. I did not agree to leave home, but I used to go and spend time with him. But I kept talking to the guy who was my first true boyfriend. His parents are business people, so he started to give me money. He was working with them in their business. So I was getting money from him and the taxi man. The first guy is still good to me, but he does not give me anything now because he is no longer working in his parents' business. He is now attending UTech.

Whenever I get money from my other boyfriend, I try to put away a little. A few days ago, I met with my UTech boyfriend and I gave him $1,000. The taxi man doesn't know that I am still seeing him. I don't like the taxi man as much as the other guy. Plus, the taxi man has three children and one of them is my age. I told him that I want to go back to school, but he says that he can't afford to send me yet. Every time we have sex, he tells me that he wants to get me pregnant because that is the only way he would be sure that I belong to him. He does not use protection. He said his seed must not be destroyed. I do not know what to do because I only have three CSEC passes. I would love to own a business. I always like doing hair.

My mother is trying her best, but my father is not very well and I can't be of much help to them. I consider myself very fortunate to be having sex with two men without getting pregnant. This taxi man brings me home. My parents asked me who he is and I told them that he is my boyfriend. My father said that he doesn't trust him. I asked my father if he knows him and he said no, but he said he has a wild look on his face, so I should be careful with such a man.

V.A.

Dear V.A.,

You should contact HEART and discuss with them the programme you would love to do.

You would like to become a cosmetologist and HEART is a good place to get the necessary training. You are still seeing the young man who was your schoolmate and who took your virginity. You seem to love this man; however, I can't encourage you to have two men in your life. If the taxi man knows that you are still playing around with this man, he may want to beat you up. Get your training and begin to help yourself.

I want you to understand that although this taxi man does not believe in using protection, if you continue to have unprotected sex with him it is likely that you will become pregnant, and you may regret doing so. He will consider you as one of his babymothers. You may end up having to live with him.

Pastor