Can’t keep up with my girlfriend in bed

November 28, 2022

Dear Pastor,

I am a 25-years-old man and I am living with my girlfriend who is 27. I am slim and she complains daily about my weight. My girlfriend is very heavy and she said that some of her friends are saying that she is not feeding me well. But I eat at least three meals per day. Sometimes when I sit with her at the table, she wants me to eat more, but I can't.

I try to go to bed by 9 p.m., but she is always waking me up two, three times for the night to have sex. This girl is never satisfied. I told her that that is one of the reasons why I can't put on weight because she is working my body too hard. She told me that her previous boyfriend used to have sex with her at least four times in one night and that is what she was accustomed to.


If you were to see my back, her fingernails have scratched me up so much. Is it normal for a person to have sexual intercourse so many times for the night? Can you tell me what to do to put on some weight? This girl is always initiating sex. We do not have children. I told her that I cannot manage her. She is too sexy for me. She wakes me up in the middle of the night to have sex after she has slept for about two to three hours. Then she wants more before she gets up and goes to the bathroom to prepare for work.

If I don't have enough rest at night, I doze off at my desk and I can't think straight. Should I end the relationship with this woman? I love her very much, but I cannot keep up. I would like to have your comments.


Dear Writer,

Some people consider that it is normal to have sex at least twice in one night. Statistics show that working couples usually have sexual intercourse twice per week, or even three times per week.

However, some young people seem to believe that it is quite normal to have sex two, three and four times per night. Women who are very aggressive tend to become very annoyed with their partners if they are not able to cope. It seems to me that you are not able to cope with this woman who is very demanding. I am not here to judge your woman. Suffice to say that if you are not able to satisfy her, she is likely to find another man who can. I hope that that will never happen. She is 27 and she has not yet slowed down. It seems to me that she has a long way to go before she slows down.

You say you are very slim. I don't know if you are overworking yourself or if this woman is overworking you in the bedroom that would cause you not to gain weight. You need to discuss that with your medical doctor. You say you eat three meals per day and I believe that your woman feeds you well because she wants you to perform. It can be said that this woman is overdoing a good thing.

A 25-year-old man who is healthy and strong does not need to worry himself about gaining weight regardless of what people might say. It is a fact that some women tease other women whose husbands are slim and they tell them that they should feed their men. This woman and you need to compromise. You perhaps need to go to bed earlier than you are doing now. Both of you need to come to an understanding that certain evenings should be sex free. Instead of having sex two or three times per night, perhaps one time for the night will do, and that is after you have had a good rest. The early morning sex should cease. Or you should be allowed to sleep and have sex early in the morning. She knows that you are not cheating because you are always at home with her. Perhaps she can find other means of satisfying herself, but I don't want to suggest what she can do.


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