Think my married co-worker wants me

January 12, 2022
I wonder why his wife doesn’t treat him well.  Something must be wrong.
I wonder why his wife doesn’t treat him well. Something must be wrong.

Dear Pastor,

I am 25. I am working and I have developed a friendship with a man who is working at the same place. Most times we have lunch together and he tells me his problems.

He is having lots of problems with his wife, who is in my age group. She has even stopped having sex with him. He asked me what would I do if I were a man and in his situation.

I told him that I was not qualified to answer that question. He says that he enjoys talking to me. But I am getting worried because he calls me two or three times after work. He wants to know if I got home without problems and if I don't have anybody visiting me. He and his wife don't have any children, and he wants children.

I have one child, but I have never been married. My daughter lives with her father and his wife. Her father's wife and I are good friends. She knows that I am not trying to have a relationship with her husband. My daughter does not call her mommy and that doesn't bother her, because she says the child can only have one mom. I don't know how to handle this man at my workplace. If I try not to sit with him during lunch period, he takes his lunch and comes straight to me. I don't want to embarrass him. I believe something must be wrong, because why doesn't his wife treat him well even though he is such a pleasant man at work. He is also handsome.

I am sharing a house with another girl. We have our own rooms, but we share other facilities. This guy would love to visit me, but I told him no. My house mate has a boyfriend and she goes to visit him occasionally. My daughter visits me on weekends. I don't want her to see a man visiting me. She would ask a lot of questions. She is very smart and I don't want to lie to her.

I would like to get married. But I do not want to get mixed up with this man, who is not telling me why his wife is not treating him better and yet he is still living with her. According to him, she said that he is a big mistake in her life and that she should have married another man.

Pastor, what do you think I should do with this man?


Dear H.C.,

Stop spending so much time with this co-worker. Tell him it would not be very long before people say that both of you are having an affair. Even if you are not, people would say so because you are always together. During lunchtime, he makes it his duty to sit with you.

If you have been talking to this man so often, you should ask him to come clean and tell you the absolute truth. A woman does not reject her husband without a cause. And if this man's wife is rejecting him, she has reasons for doing so. Is it that he is incapable of loving her the way she wants him to? Is it that he is not giving her enough money? Is it that he is incapable of impregnating her? That could be a big problem. What is really going on?

You suspect that this man wants you to be his lover. Ask him if that is what he has in mind. I should ask you this question: Do you love this man? Do you want the both of you to be intimate? Talk the truth, and then make up your mind about what you want.


Other Tell Me Pastor Stories