Giving my man ‘bun’ under his own roof

January 27, 2021

Dear Pastor,

I am 27 years old and I have got myself into some trouble. I don't know how I can get out. I am living with my boyfriend. He is 35 years old. His parents have been living aboard for six years. They did not want to rent their house, so they left their son and me in charge. All we do is pay the water and take care of the property. It is a lovely place.

Pastor, I have a friend; she and I go way back from schooldays. She has a boyfriend and they are living together. My boyfriend and I know him well. He doesn't seem to believe in hard work, and he can't hold a job for long. They had to leave where they were living, so they came and begged my boyfriend for them to stay with us. It has been six months now and they are still here, and my boyfriend's parents know that they are here.

This is where I am in trouble now because I find myself loving this man, and if my boyfriend suspects us, somebody will die. I asked myself the question, why have I got myself involved with this man and he has nothing'? When this man told me he loved me, I behaved as if I did not love him, too. I told him that he should keep his eyes off me and find a place to go.

The first time I had sex with him, I found out that he can go longer than my boyfriend when we have sex, and he satisfies me more. That drew me back to him. He told me I am sweeter than his girlfriend who he is living with, and that makes me very scared. My boyfriend does not suspect anything, but every time this guy walks past me, my vagina jumps. I told my boyfriend that he should ask them to leave, but my boyfriend told me that we should not pressure them. This man's girlfriend is working, and she helps contribute to the food bill. She is a lovely girl. The only thing I have over her is broad hips. Pastor, I need your help, please.


Dear W.E.,

Well, you are going to destroy the relationship with the man with whom you live, because if your boyfriend suspects that this man and you are having a sexual relationship, he may beat you and throw you out of his parents' house. In the first place, this man shouldn't be living there with his woman, but he was in trouble and your boyfriend let him in. You should not have allowed yourself to yield to him and grant him sexual favours. That is wrong, so very wrong. He has his girlfriend, so he was not without someone to have sex with. This man ought to go and you are to tell him so; and whenever his woman is leaving to go to work, he should go with her. Both of you should not be there alone.

I am going to tell you the absolute truth; you are a wicked girl. You are getting so much from your man and yet you are giving him 'bun'. You are no good. I hope that your boyfriend can see this letter and realise that you are the writer of it and throw you out also. I make no apology for saying so.


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