Main man believes my ‘bunner man’ is my cousin

January 26, 2021

Dear Pastor,

I have been reading your column ever since from I was young, but I was always afraid to write to you. I am 39 years old, and I am at a point in life where I need some advice.

I have my main man and a 'bunner man', who has been in my life for more than 10 years. My main man believes that my 'bunner man' is my cousin. The two of them are different experiences.

My main man treats me more like a married woman. He expects his breakfast, lunch, and dinner. He asks me for everything, and his clothes must be washed. He does not know where to find anything in the house. He wants me to go wherever he goes. If he needs a glass of water, he calls me, but he does not have sex with me often, and when we have sex, he does not do foreplay. He just goes straight to sex - bam, bam, bam and he is finished. He has a small penis. I do not complain. I tell him that the sex is great.

My 'bunner man' is from my community. We have known each other from childhood. He does not have anything to give me, but whatever I ask him to do for me, he does it -- I just have to name it. He is a gardener, a carpenter, a lover, and a friend. He is not good in book, but he is street smart. You cannot fool him.

My main man is a ruler. My 'bunner man' loves me like crazy. Whenever we make love, it is like I am over the moon. He has an average size penis, but it is like iron. My main man has become very argumentative. I want to have a child, but I want it to be for the 'bunner man'.

My main man has three children - but not with me - and I have two. They are young adults. I want to wash baby clothes for the 'bunner man'. He doesn't have any children as yet, but if my main man knows that I am having a relationship with other men, he will do crazy things. Right now, I am at a crossroad. I am trapped in this situation. My main man and I are living together in a beautiful house, and if I should leave him, people are going to know that I never treated him well.

I do not know how to leave and tell him to stay away. I broke up my marriage with the children's father. I am tearing up inside. What should I do pastor?

Initials Withheld.

Dear Writer,

You said that you are living in a beautiful house. You did not say who owns the house. What you have said is that the life you are living is very risky. You are married, but you have not declared whether you are divorced.

Evidently, the man that you describe as your main man is supporting you heavily financially because the man that you describe as the 'bunner man' is a very poor man, but you have good reasons for keeping him as a lover. When it comes to love making, he is the top of the line. He knows his stuff. You can feel him in your bones. You do not have to teach him anything.

You want to have another child, but you don't want to get pregnant by the man with whom you live. You have to tell your main man the truth. Tell him that you want to end the relationship with him. You cannot tell him that the 'bunner man' and you are having a sexual relationship.

I beg you, free up yourself from the relationship with these men because your life will be in danger if you continue to be in a relationship with these two men. You need a break from both of these men. Please remember that you are living dangerously. It is never good for a woman to have a man on the side. Never, never, never good!


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