‘Our sex life is awful’

April 03, 2020

Dear Pastor,

I hope you keep up with the good work that you are doing. I am in a sticky position. I have been in a relationship with my child's father from I was 15.

He is not the best, but he tries. He cheats on me from time to time, and I cheat on him too. He is also abusive. I love this man with all my heart and I hope some day we can get married.

Pastor, I love him but our sex life is very awful. I want to get it back on the go. I always wanted to try oral sex with him to see how he would react, but I am afraid of how he would take it.

I am an attractive young woman who is always working because I don't like to beg. We live together and we are trying our best to allow our daughter to have everything that she needs.

I am also trying my best to stop cheating, and I think that I have done a great job this year.

Please, respond to my letter. I would love to hear from you on how I can do better. I would also love to meet with you for counselling.


Dear Writer,

You say that you love your babyfather. But you know him to be a cheater, and you also cheat. You give the impression that you cheat because you do not really enjoy having sex with him. You described the sex with him as awful. In other words, you go with other men who are better in bed. But at the same time, you do not want to continue to cheat.

In fact, you have tried very hard not to cheat since this year has started.

Let me be frank with you. When a couple has problems but they love each other, they should always seek professional help. I knew a couple many years ago; they were married.


The woman used to cheat on her husband for one reason, he was not a good lover. Whenever she suggested that they should try doing different things to help their sex life, he would say "Where you learn that from?" and brush her aside.

She would keep quiet in the bed and she would allow her husband to do whatever he wanted and then, after taking her to work, she would call her boyfriend.

Her boyfriend would take her to a hotel and give her the type of sex she wanted.

I would suggest that you tell your man that you are not totally happy with the life you are living, and that you suggest both of you make an appointment to meet with a family counsellor for professional help.

Please, do not suggest to this man that you want both of you to try oral sex. He would take that to mean that you are doing so with other men. See a counsellor and that can be discussed during the sessions.

You suggested that you would love to meet with me. I will be quite willing to meet with both of you. You may call my office at 876-929-1667 and set up an appointment after the coronavirus has been brought under control.


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