72 and in love with the ‘helper’

March 31, 2020

Dear Pastor,

I am 72 years old, but I am strong and in fairly good health. I have a lady friend. She and I are not living together, but she visits me every day. Some people see her coming here would feel that she is my helper, but she is more than a helper to me. She makes sure that the house is in good condition and that my meals are cooked. I go to the market and buy my vegetables and ground provisions. I don't go to the supermarkets much, I send her to buy what is needed. Although she is not my helper, I give her $10,000 every week for her pocket. She is 54.

My five children are living in the US. They know about her, but they think she is just my helper. I don't intend to tell them anything, but I would like to make this woman my wife.

She has children of her own, three of them to be exact. But she has never been married. I just want to hear from you on how you feel about this relationship. I love her very much.

Since my wife died, she is the only woman who excites me, and I have fooled around a few of them, especially women who are in my age group. Some of them were only interested in my money. This woman has never shown interest in my money. I have two houses and I get my pension. I don't owe anybody, I can live. My children call me every week, wanting to know if I am alright. I have grandchildren, and I am more interested in them. I wish they could be here with me. I hope to see them in the near future.

This woman told me that she would be faithful to me. I don't care if my children would agree for her to marry me or not, I am more concerned about whether she would be faithful to me. But I love her. Tell me how you feel about this relationship. I would be glad to meet you in person with her.


Dear O.D.,

I fully understand what you are trying to say. This woman has won your heart and you would like to marry her and live an upright life. A 72-year-old man is not an old man in this modern age.

You should be very thankful that you are in good health and that you don't have to rely on your children to support you. Parents who do not have to depend on their children to support them should raise their hands and give glory to God.

I want to ask you this question. Which of you is more eager to get married, this woman or you? You said that she has not given you the impression that she wants to get what you have.

I am wondering whether she has her own home. From what you have said, she is indeed an intelligent woman. She knows if you were to marry her, she would not suffer needs as you would take care of her financially and otherwise.

Although your children cannot tell you what to do, I would suggest that you inform them that you wish to marry this woman. You may even mention that you are not asking them for their permission. You have already made up your mind to marry her.

You have not mentioned how old her children are, but I hope that they are respectful to you. My dear sir, you know how you feel about this woman.

Right now you are giving people the impression that she is your helper, but both of you are lovers.

Therefore, I suggest that you call your minister and make an appointment for both of you to meet with him, and tell him that you want to marry the woman and move on from there.

Sir, I wish you well. If I can be of further help to you, please contact me again.


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